Last week I decided to check out First Thursday and see what's going on in the art scene. First though there was an event by ForkFly, a lovely little company that helps connect consumers with businesses in the Portland area. They had a charity auction for the Oregon Ballet Theater and also a fashion show featuring Agave, that fabulous denim brand I've written about before. Thank god I went because I couldn't believe how rife this event was with Do's and Don'ts. I totally owe ForkFly. Check out some of the peeps I snuck photos of. These are just a few of the many from that night.
Now, I know the Northwest has a strong mormon following, and maybe if this woman were in the accepted cult of mormonism then this would in fact be acceptable, but... I'm pretty sure she's just a chick in a horrible floral dress. There are just so many things wrong with this. The pattern is obviously tremendously dated, the cut is enormous, and look at those short sleeved shoulders. Could she look any more squat and broad? Also, I know this is hard to see, but take a look at that bag. It's purple cheetah print?! How on earth would that go with this, or any, outfit? I wonder if even the mormons would allow that?
This picture hardly does justice to how trampy this girl looked. And that is trampy with a capital T. The boobs, the mid-riff, the denim mini, the ridiculous hooker heels. It's like this chick is aspiring to one day be a lady of the night, and has taken her training wheels, or bra as it were, off too early. The saddest thing is that this girl is actually attractive with a great body. It's a shame she doesn't realize how effortlessly she could look pretty by keeping the style of her look minimal, instead of the amount of fabric.
I was hiding behind my friend Kelly for this one. This is another girl with way too little causing way too many problems. Let's start at the top shall we? The racer stripe streaks in her hair look like she was a test subject at dye job 101. Next that tank top. Ugh. I call these toilet tanks, because they are the type of tank tops you get on sale, 5 for $20, you ladies know what I'm talking about, and generally end up wearing them when you are cleaning your bathroom, thus a toilet tank. But some women think these skimpy little pieces of shoddy lycra are acceptable to wear out and out and look respectable. Sadly, there is nothing acceptable nor respectable about this look, especially with her pooch poking through said shoddy lycra. And the horizontal stripes of the skirt, situated at her widest part of her body, continue to do this chick no favors. She should be raising that hand to hide her head in shame, but fortunately I have an upside down crown to do it for her.
This is a tough one because this girl took my ticket and was very sweet and I actually do like her mod'ish little ensemble, but she's don't-ed because of that egregious bra strap situation. I am even including a close up so you can see. There is no way, none what so whatever, when you wear a top like this that has no shoulder fabric to speak of, that you can possibly wear anything but a strapless bra. The strap is never going to be concealed because there's nothing available to conceal it, so all her effort to look cute and chic, which she otherwise does, is completely undone by the sad state of that perpetually exposed bra strap. Honey, please give that little extra thought next time because I really wanted to give you the good crown.
How cute is this little lady? What I love here is she kept it simple with one bright understated sheath. Now I'm whiter than white so I can't pull off yellow, but this lady wisely understands all the favors her natural skin tone gives her in the color department. Join that with her cute earrings and easy up-do and we have a clear winner for the night. I actually told her so, which is how I got this great smiling picture.
Now what I love about this look is it's just some simple easy layers we all have, but they are done right. White cap sleeve t layered under a grey tank that buttons up the back to add some interest. Then just one simple bangle, dark cuffed up jeans and impeccable white flats that tie back to the white t and this lassy has a super chic look that is completely comfortable and about as effortless as you can get. Well done!
[...] sirlennox says… Fashion, Beauty & Lifestyle Expert. Skip to content BiographyTwitterFacebookContact « Fashion Disasters at the Galleries [...]